If our vision is conditioned by a certain belief, whether it is a self-defeating story, a past trauma, … we are limited in what we can choose to see or to do. If we decide to throw ourselves to the opposite of that belief, it is very likely we will break that limiting boundary. If we choose this approach to grow, and throw ourselves into the fire every time we realize we hold a certain belief, we will expand our area of ability. That’s all fine and well, for a time.
Until we realize that we used to live in a manor, with many walls blocking us, and that we have torn down every wall. And we’re free to go wherever we want, but at each step, we trip over the foundations. We can keep going like this for a moment, that’s fine. But when we want to lie down, we can’t find a flat spot. Nothing but a crisscross of rock lines.
A more sustainable growth comes from seeing the belief, and acting rationally about it. Not rushing to fight it with passion, but seeing it for what it is, looking, listening for what it’s made of, where it starts, where it ends. Realizing it’s nothing more than a thought. A virtual object. And watching it dissolve. As all thoughts do, sooner or later.
The same approach is valid for acting in life. If we are at war, if we are fighting against discrimination, poverty, …, we are throwing an opposite force onto the fire. This will only result in two forces fighting each other, adding complexity and confrontation to the situation. If, on the other hand, we act from a place filled with calm, compassion, and generosity, without identifying ourselves with the outcome, we might just do some good. To truly do that, we need to be completely honest with ourselves. This means that we need to first recognize our place as part of the machine that is producing the suffering. Only once we have acknowledged and accepted that can we start relieving the suffering in peace.
Which brings me back to my first point. If we notice a limiting belief (i.e., suffering), instead of going to war against it, let’s first stay on our side for a little while. Let’s try to notice how connected we are to this belief, if we are feeding it somehow. Let’s be very honest with ourselves. And then, let’s stay with the belief, let’s try to ease it out, calmly, without taking a position. And let’s watch it passing away.